First of all why do women that smoke hold their smoking arm with their free arm as if the cigarette weighs 30 kilos? Its like "Christ this ciggie is heavy, I'd better support my elbow with my free hand in case a drop it and crush a child or something".
Now, if you search for "Lady Smoking" on Google you get porn. Porn with women having a fag (and holding their elbow). Now why this turns people on is beyond me.
Do people who enjoy this fetish actually have sex with a woman who is smoking at the time? I mean my girlfriend smokes but if she ever put a fag (scuse the pun) near my cock I'd ram it up her nostril until I set her tiny brain alight. There is only one thing women should be smoking during sex, right guys
Anyway, If anyone out there is into the whole smoking babes thing I'm gonna help you rid yourselves of your sordid little fetish.
Oh, BTW girls, smoking make your tits sag.
Now, if you search for "Lady Smoking" on Google you get porn. Porn with women having a fag (and holding their elbow). Now why this turns people on is beyond me.
Do people who enjoy this fetish actually have sex with a woman who is smoking at the time? I mean my girlfriend smokes but if she ever put a fag (scuse the pun) near my cock I'd ram it up her nostril until I set her tiny brain alight. There is only one thing women should be smoking during sex, right guys
Anyway, If anyone out there is into the whole smoking babes thing I'm gonna help you rid yourselves of your sordid little fetish.
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- Posted by Bill S Preston Esq
- Posted in Stupid People .
It's not just real humans that say stupid things. Children also come out with all manner of shit. I think they are just as thick (if not thicker) than real full grown adults.
Heres some of the crap my 6 year old and my 3 year old have come out with over the years with translations into English.
cutter - cut or abrasion (w)
thailand - the place where santa claus lives (s)
eye browns - eye brows (w)
dib dab fire - deep fat fryer (w)
haircotter - helicopter (w)
annoying - ignoring (s)
pizza planet box - pizza box (w)
cold it warmer - cool it down / warm it up (w)
thats not well not fair - but that isnt fair (w)
thomas fing yeah? - are you referring to my thomas the tank engine toy? (w)
dvdvd - dvd (s)
cug cug - cuddle (w)
melonaise - mayonaise (s)
negg - egg (w)
crank it open - crack (when in reference to a negg) (w)
mowk - milk (w)
screwver - screw (w)
simpsoms - simpsons (w)
househouse - bear in the big blue house (w)
rolling pen - rolling pin (w)
ketchup - petrol (w)
sturn - turn (w)
gnome - own (w)
pizzle - jigsaw (puzzle) (w)
under the neath - underneath (w)
petchup - petrol / petrol station (w)
magic chair - reclining chair (w)
nelston - nelson (w)
popcorn - kfc (w)
popcorn - popcorn chicken (w)
popcorn - colonel sanders (w)
popcorn - popcorn (w)
running chickens - chicken run (w)
piggy donk - piggy bank (w)
tigger donk - disney novelty money box (w)
toys for us - toys r us (w)
my teeth is scruffy - i need to clean my teeth (w)
b'sketti - spaghetti (s)
can he cant see? - cant he see? (w)
ember.... - just wait a moment while i consider your question (w)
pringle - randle (w)
smarteser - (w) malteser
IDIOTS
Heres some of the crap my 6 year old and my 3 year old have come out with over the years with translations into English.
cutter - cut or abrasion (w)
thailand - the place where santa claus lives (s)
eye browns - eye brows (w)
dib dab fire - deep fat fryer (w)
haircotter - helicopter (w)
annoying - ignoring (s)
pizza planet box - pizza box (w)
cold it warmer - cool it down / warm it up (w)
thats not well not fair - but that isnt fair (w)
thomas fing yeah? - are you referring to my thomas the tank engine toy? (w)
dvdvd - dvd (s)
cug cug - cuddle (w)
melonaise - mayonaise (s)
negg - egg (w)
crank it open - crack (when in reference to a negg) (w)
mowk - milk (w)
screwver - screw (w)
simpsoms - simpsons (w)
househouse - bear in the big blue house (w)
rolling pen - rolling pin (w)
ketchup - petrol (w)
sturn - turn (w)
gnome - own (w)
pizzle - jigsaw (puzzle) (w)
under the neath - underneath (w)
petchup - petrol / petrol station (w)
magic chair - reclining chair (w)
nelston - nelson (w)
popcorn - kfc (w)
popcorn - popcorn chicken (w)
popcorn - colonel sanders (w)
popcorn - popcorn (w)
running chickens - chicken run (w)
piggy donk - piggy bank (w)
tigger donk - disney novelty money box (w)
toys for us - toys r us (w)
my teeth is scruffy - i need to clean my teeth (w)
b'sketti - spaghetti (s)
can he cant see? - cant he see? (w)
ember.... - just wait a moment while i consider your question (w)
pringle - randle (w)
smarteser - (w) malteser
IDIOTS
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- Posted by Bill S Preston Esq
- Posted in Stupid People .
Why when you're poorly why do people come out with the same meaningless shit?
If a part of your body aches "You've probably got a bit of cold in it" or "you've got a chill". In other words YOU DON'T KNOW!! Theres no shame in it, just admit that you don't know whats wrong with me or mind your own business.
If you feel sick and can't eat "Why don't you have a piece of toast" Fucking Toast! Is Toast magic? So how the fuck is it gonna cure me. And Chicken soup! WTF!, That shit will make you ill yet people always try to get you to eat when you're poorly.
Doctors are no better. For instance I went to the doctors recently with a bad back and the Doctor, for all his knowledge, his Phd and his £100,000 per year told me to "TAKE AN ASPRIN AND HAVE A REST". Id have rung his neck if I could have stood up straight.
And if you don't think those are stupid things to say how about this from Kevin Keegan...........
"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg. "
Yeah sure it is Kev you flaming Scouse-Geordie pervert, I would love it if you broke your leg, love it!
If a part of your body aches "You've probably got a bit of cold in it" or "you've got a chill". In other words YOU DON'T KNOW!! Theres no shame in it, just admit that you don't know whats wrong with me or mind your own business.
If you feel sick and can't eat "Why don't you have a piece of toast" Fucking Toast! Is Toast magic? So how the fuck is it gonna cure me. And Chicken soup! WTF!, That shit will make you ill yet people always try to get you to eat when you're poorly.
Doctors are no better. For instance I went to the doctors recently with a bad back and the Doctor, for all his knowledge, his Phd and his £100,000 per year told me to "TAKE AN ASPRIN AND HAVE A REST". Id have rung his neck if I could have stood up straight.
And if you don't think those are stupid things to say how about this from Kevin Keegan...........
"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg. "
Yeah sure it is Kev you flaming Scouse-Geordie pervert, I would love it if you broke your leg, love it!
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